How To Get More Blowjobs
There’s nothing like a blowjob, or so I’ve been told. Since I don’t have a penis myself, I have to accept other peoples’ word on it. If you enjoy blowjobs, you probably want more of them. You might wonder how to get more blowjobs from your wife. Or your girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, or partner. We don’t have to get too heteronormative here. This advice will apply regardless of the gender presentation of the people in your relationship.
Step 1: Ask Nicely
Sometimes all you need to do is ask! Your partner might be under the impression that you’re happy with the amount of BJs you’re already receiving. If you ask, you may find that they’re willing to step up and increase the amount of head in your life.
As with any conversation about sex, ask when you’re both in the good mood. You might consider asking shortly after your other half has given you a blowjob. To improve your chances, compliment them on their technique. Tell them why you enjoy their blowjobs so much and want more.
I want to stress that the important thing here is to ask, not demand. Bring up your desire in a friendly, polite way.
Step 2: Be Willing to Negotiate
Most people appreciate a little reciprocity in their relationships. That is to say: if you want to receive, you should also be willing to give. What would your sweetie like from you in return? It could be that you have a simple tit for tat agreement: more oral for both of you! Or it might be that they’ve had their eye on a new g-spot vibrator. Sometimes, non-sexual favors come into the negotiation too. Your partner might just want you to take over walking the dog on weekend mornings so she can sleep in.
Be careful to not fall into a scorekeeping mentality. You want to avoid saying things like “I went down on you for 15 minutes and you only sucked my cock for 10.” An attitude like that can easily bleed out into the rest of your relationship. Trust that everything will even out in the end.
Step 3: Be Willing to Compromise
Some people don’t like to give head because they find it uncomfortable. Issues like a sensitive gag reflex or TMJ pain can make giving a blowjob no fun. Sometimes, figuring out how to get more blowjobs comes down to figuring out how to make it more comfortable for the person on the other end. Consider a combination handjob/blowjob where they work your shaft with their hand(s) while working your tip with her mouth. Perhaps just licking or nibbling up and down your cock would work for you.
You may also need to compromise on the amount of blowjobs you want. In a perfect world, you might get one every time you had sex. Or you’d get one blowjob a week separate from any intercourse with your partner. Your partner might come back and offer more than you’re currently getting, but less than you’re asking for.
I don’t want to make this sound like a salary negotiation or haggling for a new car. Still, you may want to start high and allow yourself to be talked down to something that is reasonable for both of you.
Step 4: Accept Feedback and Address It
When you ask your loved one for more blowjobs, you might get some feedback you don’t want to hear. They might have some points to make about your hygiene. They might feel that you haven’t been a very giving lover recently.
This is another place for negotiation. What would make your partner feel more eager to give you a blowjob? You should be prepared to offer to shave or trim more often, to shower before sex, or to demonstrate exciting new foreplay skills. Take whatever steps you need to take to make it more fun for them to have your cock in her mouth.
Step 5: Work With Your Luvah
Your partner might have some other objections to giving blowjobs. It could be that a previous partner either made the act humiliating, or harshly criticized their technique. They may come from a conservative culture that frowns upon any sexual act that isn’t procreative. If there is an emotional component to your current lack of head, be prepared to be patient.
How important is it for you to get more blowjobs? Do you want it enough to consider going to couples counseling? To work slowly on their trust or confidence in their sexuality and skills? This sort of hard work pays off in more than better sex.
If the conversation about blowjobs turns up a lot of previously unresolved issues, you may have to shelve your request for the time being and focus instead on the overall health of your relationship.
Step 6: Accept the Outcome
At the end of this conversation, you’ll either have figured out how to get more blowjobs, or that you won’t be getting more. You could have everything you want, a partial success, or no luck. Either way, you need to accept the outcome.
You should always remember that none of us are entitled to any sexual favors. No means no, and more blowjobs might be a hard “no” from your partner for any number of reasons. Don’t sulk or try to coerce them into changing their mind. Instead, focus on all of the great aspects of your sex life.
