"The clitoris is not a button. It’s an iceberg.” - Sophia Wallace
The clitoris is an amazing creation. It’s bigger than most people think, and the only body part we know of whose exclusive purpose is to derive pleasure.
Sadly, most folks get a pretty myopic view of what the clitoris is, and what it’s capable of. Well, there’s more than one way to flick a bean! And more than just “flicking” that your bean might be into.
Read on to discover ways to celebrate, build relationship with, and be WOW’ed by, the power of the clitoris.
1. Buy pussy art on Etsy.
This has got to be my favorite. Check out the amazing clitoris related art on Etsy! My favorites are the clitoris nightlight by Sassy 3D, vulva earrings by VulvaLoveCo, sculptural wall art by VaJina, luxurious interactive pillow by BadMimi Vulvalicious, dried flower clitoris art, and last but not least, a sex positive clitoris pin that states, “Know Your Body, Own Your Pleasure.
2. Identify your clit in the mirror.
This is a must! If you need help with mobility or holding some curves out of the way, have a trusted friend help. Challenge yourself to identify your outer labia, inner labia, clitoris, and vagina. Name each part and describe what kinds of sensations (or movies, comic books, or rides at Disneyland) that it does and doesn’t like. For a little more affirmation in this department check out the book (and game!) A Celebration Of Vulva Diversity.
3. Introduce your clit to your partner.
You know what you did in step two? Now do it with a partner. Laughter is healing. If you feel like it, allow them to ask your clit their thoughtful and/or burning questions.
4. Tell your clit something nice.
Do an honest inventory of the messages you or the world at large has given your clit. I recommend preparing yourself emotionally for this. Keep a fuzzy blanket or funny TV show on hand if you need some aftercare because this can turn up some surprisingly raw feelings. Clits are often told that they’re not important, that they need to perform an orgasm for a partner, or that if touch hurts, they just need to power through it. Tell your clit the messages you want it to internalize. Let your intuition guide you on this one, but if you need some inspiration I’d suggest starting with, “You’re perfect the way you are. Thank you for bringing me pleasure. Help me understand how you like being treated.”
5. Experiment with rumbly vibes.
Unless you own a Hot Octopuss product, chances are good that your clit has never experienced rumbly vibes. Just about every vibrator out there gives off a high-frequency buzz, whereas AMO and DiGiT boast deep, rumbly sensations. Fans of these toys report that the vibrations travel deeper into the tissues than typical finger vibes. This stimulates the inner anatomy of the clitoris to a great effect. Some even feel the reverberation in the bones of their pelvis! Many who dislike the feeling of buzzy vibrators adore the deep sensations of AMO and DiGiT's bassy motors.
6. Masturbate through fabric.
Crushed velvet is my personal favorite, but why stop there? Simply running the back of your fingernails along the outside of your panties can provide a surprising rush. Experiment with satin, faux fur, and the slick microfiber of athletic wear. Explore pointy, blunt, round, and floppy objects through the nuanced transmission that different fabrics provide.
7. Treat yourself to squishy vibes.
KURVE- nothing compares to squishy vibrations! KURVE is hands-down the best tool for this job. Its two, independently controlled motors cozied up behind a deliciously squishy gel tip. While KURVE is designed to stimulate the G-spot, it can be used for an incredibly satisfying clitoral treatment. The soft tip envelops the clitoris with around-the-world rumbles. This can be a welcome alternative to hyper-targeted sensations of finger vibes. Sensitive clits, rejoice! This is the toy for you!
8. Explore temperature play.
This is especially fun if you have two toys, or a toy and an ice cube. If you go the route with two toys, get a small container each of warm and cold water. Then, dip the tip of your toys in one or the other, and enjoy the transference of heat as you masturbate. The ice cube route is also a nice option, but proceed with caution! Listen to your tissues for any signs that they’ve had enough cold.
9. Get freaky with a clothespin.
Ooh baby, why does nobody ever talk about how GOOD it feels to squeeze a clit?! First, nestle a thumb and pointer finger deep into the groove between the inner and outer labia. Then massage them together until you locate the base of the external clitoris. This might be enough right here - just squeezing and rubbing and having a grand ol’ time. But if you’re game for more, carefully apply the clothespin at the BASE (not the head! youch!) of the external clitoris. Now, you can lightly tap the clothespin or even apply a vibrator to it and enjoy the roller coaster of sensations that ensue.
10. Uhhhh, push it!
So subtle, but so deep...slowly press down on the clit, and buck your hips to press more deeply into your fingers. In a standing position, this can have the exciting effect of making the knees a bit buckle-y; in a laying position there’s more leverage for the pelvis’ counter-pressure. Notice the subtle changes in the sensation, going as slow and deep into the pressure as you like.
11. Dorothy in the streets, Blanche in the sheets.
Decide which Golden Girl or Stephen Universe character it is and why. Discuss with trusted friends.
12. Get a mini-blowjob.
Dear clit owner, if you’ve never experienced suction down there, you ain’t livin’! The person performing your blowjob can spread your labia with their fingers. This will give them more access to to the base of the external clit. Sitting on their face can be an ideal position if you really want to fuck their face. From many transmasculine folks I’ve interacted with, engorgement of the clit/dick seems to increase in this position as well.
13. Buy your pussy a candle!
Your clitoral network/bat cave/dragon’s lair/vulva goblin deserves a sanctuary. And what better way to create those temple vibes than some ambient lighting? Snatch up a Coñovela by LuminareStudio for a forward-facing proclamation of vulva-positivity, the tin Goddess candle by PayalsLittleDelights for something more subtle and travel-friendly, or this vulva in a halfshell by AlovArt for pure mermaid magic
Before we say farewell, remember that every clitoris owner is entitled to refer to their anatomy as they please. For some this may be cunt, snatch, dick, junk, meat, yoni, or literally anything they come up with. Have fun exploring! And thank you for doing your part to foster sex-positivity in a world that needs it so badly. Cheers!
