Axel runs The School Of Squirt along with his partner Laura, where the pair teach how to achieve female ejaculation as part of a healthy, fulfilling and exciting sex life. Axel’s interests extend beyond just amazing sex, into health, psychology and yoga. Here, exclusively for Hot Octopuss, he discusses just how great pegging can be for men in heterosexual partnerships.
So what is pegging and is it OK to want it?
Pegging is everywhere these days. It’s become one of those catchphrases of the year and it’s cropping up in everything from Cosmopolitan magazine articles to television shows like Broad City. According to Google, searches on the topic have increased nearly 400 per cent in the past five years and are now greater than the number of searches for ‘Fleshlight’. Still, the term isn’t exactly something everyone knows about so let’s just clear it up.
Simply put, pegging is the act of a woman penetrating her male partner with a strap-on or her hand or a dildo. Basically – it’s getting fucked in the ass by a chick.
Anal sex is a bit taboo even at the best of times, so when some straight guys realise they want in on the fun, it can be difficult for them to speak up. The connection between anal sex for men and homosexuality is pretty obvious, but not all guys into ass play are gay or even bisexual.
Guys have G-spots too
By now, everyone knows that the female G-spot is pretty amazing, if located a bit awkwardly. Basically you need to enter a woman and then take a sharp turn towards the sky (if you’re in missionary position) in order to hit that spot and bring her to an orgasm she’ll not soon forget. Still, while the G-spot’s location makes hitting it a challenge, men who want to be good lovers have no problem working it into their routines. We’ll use our hands, toys or even weird sexual positions so our dicks line up with that spot – that’s how committed we are to giving women the best orgasms possible.
After seeing how powerful the G-spot is for women, is it any wonder some men start wondering if they have something similar? Well, they do. It’s called the prostate gland and it’s located right under the bladder and towards the belly – essentially the same set up as a woman’s G-spot … just a different point of entry. And there’s the rub – straight men and anal sex, in many people’s view, simply aren’t things that go together.
Plenty of straight guys wonder about ass play, and if you make a joke about women who stick a finger in your ass during a blow job in front of a group of mates, you’re guaranteed to get laughs. But more often than not, those laughs will mask the uncomfortable feeling straight men get when they wonder if they’re the only one who’s enjoyed that act.
Time for mainstream acceptance of pegging
The concept of pegging isn’t new, but its mainstream acceptance is. Many straight men like to be the dominant ones in sex – and that’s the mainstream portrayal of how masculinity should be. We think we have to be on top and in charge and many of us very much enjoy this. We love seeing women wriggle and squirm with pleasure at our mercy, we love making women squirt. There’s nothing wrong with that but it does limit what we can experience. The prostate can be stimulated a bit from outside the body by stroking and applying pressure to a man’s perineum (the Hot Octopuss ATOM PLUS can help with this) – the area between the underside of his balls and his anus. But the real show happens when your partner can stimulate the prostate directly, and that means pegging.
Since receiving anal play is pretty much a completely foreign concept for most straight men, easing your way in with pegging is your best bet. That means reversing everything you know about anal sex so that the precautions you’d normally take with your partner become the precautions you take with yourself. Here are my top tips:
1. Choose your weapons – Choosing the right dildo is one of the most important steps you can take. To begin, select something small, smooth and easy to use. It doesn’t have to be a model that vibrates or comes with any bells and whistles – simply stimulating the prostate will be enough.
2. Stock up on lube – The size of your dildo is important, but not nearly as important as lube. Seriously. Like a gallon of lube.
3. Start from the outside – I know, I know, this one seems a bit obvious. But I mean start from the outside as in, have your partner stroke your perineum as they begin to lube up and press against your anus. If you’ve experimented with anal with your partner receiving anal play, remind her to take the same pace and precautions that you would with her.
4. Go slowly – Have your partner lube up and press lightly against your asshole. This will help you relax and get you used to the whole new world of sensations anal play introduces.
5. Have an out – As with any new sex play, have a way to shut everything down quickly. The minute you’re uncomfortable, let your partner know. Maybe you need to go slower – or faster! – or add more lube. Open and clear communication is important when it comes to ass play so don’t be shy about speaking up.
6. Experiment – Anyone who likes to experiment in bed knows that not every new experience works perfectly the first time. Keep an open mind and try different dildos and positions. Another thing you can experiment with is trying using a hands free sex toy like PULSE on your penis while pegging for extra stimulation – the combo can be pretty mind blowing!
The female G-spot gets plenty of notice and coverage in sex manuals, the media and the bedroom. Men have been experimenting with awkward positions, attaching buzzing rings to their cocks and trying to contort their fingers into the right shape in order to hit that spot and give their ladies earth-shattering orgasm for years. So what’s wrong with guys wanting in on the fun?
Pegging and anal play are nothing more than another way for men to get off – but in a really big way. The position of the male prostate makes anal sex pleasurable for men – it’s just that simple. The trick is finding a method, a partner and a dildo that fits your body and your needs. It’s not about ‘going gay’ or being into men (not that there would be anything wrong with that if it was the case), it’s about letting go and having fun during sex.
