Let's face it — recovery, especially after something as intimate as testicular cancer, can mess with your confidence, your sex drive, and your relationship with pleasure. But having surgery or undergoing treatment doesn't mean your pleasure or sex life is over. In fact, it can be a powerful moment to rediscover what feels good — physically, emotionally, and sensually. Your sex life isn't over; it's just going to look and feel different and in ways you'll never expect.
According to Nuts and Bolts, while one in three people treated for testicular cancer report a dip in sex drive, the majority go on to enjoy a full and satisfying sex life after treatment.
At Hot Octopuss, we believe your pleasure doesn't have to pause, even during recovery. We have a range of tech that can support you on your journey to rediscovering pleasure on your terms. Let's explore how you can regain your confidence and build a life centred around pleasure rather than fear. Because EVERY BODY deserves pleasure.
Check in with yourself first (physically and emotionally).
Before you get back into bed (solo or with a partner), remember you don't need to rush this, so explore at your own pace and always stop when you feel pain or discomfort. Don't go straight for the finishing line of orgasm or even penetration to begin with; in fact, take it off the menu for a little while. First, start by being curious about what feels good outside of this so you don't set yourself up for failure. Your body's been through a lot, and so has your brain. Start slow, be curious and be ready to dive into new ways of exploring pleasure.
Below are a few prompts to get you started.
- What feels different in my body, and what do I want to explore?
- What emotions come up when I think about sex or self-touch?
- Am I ready to explore, or do I need more time?
- What feels good right now rather than focusing on what doesn't?
- What works, and how can I explore this further?
This might seem a little odd, connecting with your feelings and emotions around sex and pleasure, but trust us; this will all make sense once you start to pay attention to your body and give it some time and patience. If it feels uncomfortable to ask yourself these questions, ask yourself why. Was it poor sex ed? Social expectations around sex? A past or current relationship? Or just your own beliefs about what sex should look like. It's time to take a deep dive into what sex means for you.
Start with solo exploration.
Whether you've lost one or both testicles or have scars you're adjusting to, solo play can be a safe, pressure-free way to explore what you like, want, or even need when it comes to touch. It's not just about getting off by yourself; it's about knowing what you like to communicate better with a partner later.
Use a toy designed for hands-free pleasure and one that can be used from flaccid or erect. Our Pulse Solo Essential is perfect for anyone who may have limited mobility or who wants a low-effort yet deeply pleasurable experience without the pressure to be erect. Sometimes, taking away the need to maintain an erection can help you focus more on what feels good rather than maintaining a hard-on.
Our resident sexpert, April Maria, suggests, 'Focus on touch beyond the genitals to reduce the pressure to perform. It's all about going back to basics and finding your new normal. This could involve stroking your nipples, thighs, or neck and exploring extended periods of kissing or even dry humping. Remember how fun it is to build anticipation before sex? Well, let's go back to that.'
Redefine what sex means for you.
One of the most liberating things post-surgery is realising that sex doesn't have to look like it did before. Sex should never look like what you see in films, TV or even porn because that's all for entertainment, not pleasure focused, so don't lead with that as an example of what sex should look like. In fact, it can be whatever you want it to be, including slower, softer, more sensual, touch-focused, or even avoiding genitals altogether, and yes, this still counts as sex.
Ask yourself, what do I want sex to look like? And am I genuinely having the sex that I want? If not, what do you need to make it a reality?
Fun ways to explore sex outside of the norm!
Explore temperature play - Try exploring with glass toys by warming or cooling them down to help with nerve sensitivity or soreness.
Explore with toys solo or together - Toys like our new PULSE DUO is perfect for couples looking to explore pleasure simultaneously without the need for penetration.
Explore fantasies and get creative - Let's not forget that sex is supposed to be fun, so try something new and out of the box, like a seductive massage or even reading a kinky book together.
Lastly, use lube — and lots of it - Scar tissue or sensitive skin needs gentleness, and lube will help you avoid friction.
Final word
Pleasure doesn't end after cancer — it evolves and requires you to find your new normal. Whether you're feeling cautious or curious, there's no rush and no rules when it comes to pleasure. Hot Octopuss is here for your comeback.