Struggling to get or keep an erection can feel overwhelming, especially when it happens unexpectedly or more than once, and you are not sure why. If you are at a point where you are wondering, Is this erectile dysfunction? Or am I just in my head? This article is about to break it down for you.
While the experience can feel the same at the moment, erectile dysfunction (ED) and performance anxiety aren't always the same thing. What's important is to speak with your GP to find the best treatment for you and find out what's going on.
What is the difference between ED and performance anxiety?
Erectile Dysfunction is a physical condition where getting or keeping an erection is consistently challenging. Various issues, including hormone levels, circulation, medication side effects, or underlying health conditions, can cause it.
ED can stem from:
• Circulatory or vascular issues
• Hormonal imbalances (like low testosterone)
• Medication side effects
• Neurological conditions
• Surgery (e.g., prostatectomy) or physical injury
• Chronic health conditions such as diabetes, kidney disease, or heart disease
Performance Anxiety, on the other hand, is a psychological response—where stress, pressure to perform, or fear of 'not being good enough' can interrupt arousal or erections in the moment. It's common, especially in new relationships or after a one-time ED experience.
Signs it might be performance anxiety:
• Sudden or intermittent ED
• Erections are still happening during masturbation or sleep
• There's a clear triggering event (new partner, stressful situation, past ED experience)
• There's more ease in solo sex versus with a partner
One thing to keep in mind is that the two often overlap. Anxiety can cause temporary ED, and ongoing ED can trigger anxiety. The good news? There is support for both. Whether it's through exploring new ways to connect intimately, using tech that supports pleasure without pressure (hello, Hot Octopuss), or getting professional guidance, you're not alone—and you've got options.
Treatment and support
Whether ED is caused by your mind, your body, or a mix of both—you don't have to face ED alone. There are so many options for living a fulfilling sex life. Here are just a few to start exploring.
Explore without pressure
Try tech that removes the need for performance, like hands-free toys from Hot Octopuss that stimulate without requiring an erection. Our New Pulse duo can be used solo or with a partner, meaning that regardless if you are flaccid or erect, you can wear the toy while your partner grinds against it, removing penetration altogether.
Talk about it
Don't suffer in silence, and try talking with a partner, therapist, sexual health professional or your GP. Honest conversation can bring tremendous relief and a sense of normalisation to something that affects everyone at some point. Talking is also the first step towards solutions and finding ways best to support yourself and your sexual health and well-being.
Find the root cause
Whether it's lifestyle, medical treatment, or emotional support, tailored guidance makes a difference in ensuring you feel supported. The first step is talking to your healthcare professional so that you can have any tests or examinations done before exploring treatment options.
Why seek support?
Research shows that exploring treatment options can improve psychological well-being, boost confidence, and support healthier relationships. And most importantly? You're still worthy of pleasure, connection, and desire—no matter what your body is (or isn't) doing right now.