For couples, trying to navigate sex when one partner has Endometriosis can not only bring unique challenges but can also create distance and avoidance around intimacy and sex altogether. Pain, discomfort, and fear of triggering a flare-up can create barriers to partnered sex, and if this sounds familiar, don't worry. You are not alone, and we are here to provide a solution.
One myth that still lingers is that sex isn't sex unless it involves penetration, but I'm here to tell you this is far from the truth. A simple way to put it is, as sexologist Emily Nagoski says, "Pleasure is the measure." We must shift away from expectations and focus solely on what feels good, and if penetration hurts, then why do it? Sex is whatever you want it to be; that's the beauty of it and its fluidity to be shaped into whatever feeling, sensation and experience we want it to be. You make the rules; you get to decide what you want your sex to look like. Remember, no one is watching; you don't need to perform, especially concerning what society has portrayed as 'normal.'
So, let's explore why, with the right tool, you can rediscover connection, excitement, and satisfaction regardless of living with Endometriosis, pain or fear and without penetration being on the menu.
Let me introduce you to the newly refined Pulse Duo 2025, a next-generation couples' toy from Hot Octopuss that ensures everybody's pleasure is taken care of. This toy offers a unique way to explore pleasure together—without the need for penetration. Hurrah!
Why Pulse Duo is a game-changer for sex with Endometriosis
Let's start with the fact that the new Pulse Duo requires no penetration. One of the biggest challenges for those with Endometriosis is that penetrative sex can be painful, so sex is then avoided altogether, and no other forms of sex are even explored. The Pulse Duo allows for pleasure without the need for penetration thanks to its beautifully arched base designed to deliver direct stimulation to the vulva while being worn by the person with a penis. While one side uses oscillating PulsePlate™ technology that stimulates the penis, the other provides deep, rumbly vibrations to the vulva meaning both partners can experience pleasurable sensations together.
Now, back to the point of avoiding sex altogether because, of course, pain and fear don't exactly get the juices flowing. When pain is a concern, sex can sometimes feel stressful, putting the brakes on for even having the desire for sex. However, one way to get out of this pattern is by shifting the focus from 'what's off-limits' to 'what feels good' and exploring pleasure in a safe and enjoyable way. Using a device like Pulse Duo can help you explore external stimulation slowly and at an intensity level that suits your comfort. Using the wireless remote, you can explore different settings on your terms while your partner places the toy with a small build-up of pressure onto your vulva. This allows you more control of the intensity, so if things start feeling uncomfortable, you can slow things down.
My favourite thing about the Pulse Duo, not only as a sex expert but also as a fellow Endo sufferer myself, is the enjoyment I get from grinding over any other forms of sexual activities, partnered or alone. The Pulse Duo is just a level up from the pillow you choose to thrust against or the wand you have made shift into a grinding device. On the plus side, you get to snog the face of your partner while you grind away, and they, too, get to experience your enjoyment while also receiving sweet vibes to their genitals. It's a win-win situation if you ask me.
How to set yourself up for pleasure, not failure
Step one
Relax, relax, relax! Now, while it might seem easier said than done after a long day's work, dealing with pain or whatever else life throws your way, relaxation is the key when managing pain and discomfort. If you are stressed, your body will know it, and so will your pelvic floor. The more you tense, the more your muscles will tighten and cause discomfort. You have to find your calm, what works for you, whether through asking your partner to give you a massage, cuddling for an hour, or soaking in the bath; you and only you need to ease into a pleasure-focused mindset by finding what brings you back into your body. If relaxing doesn't come easy to you, don't worry; it takes time and practice, and it means you have a good place to start when exploring what you need to feel good in your body.
Step two
Once you find yourself in a state of relaxation, begin with soft, slow forms of touch such as feather-light strokes, warm breath, or soft pressure. If pain is an issue, we don't want anything intense, fast or rough, so ensure you communicate this with your sexual partner and don't be afraid to be vocal or guide their hands to what you need at that moment.
Step three
When you are both ready, it's time to introduce the Pulse Duo. Start by exploring different positions to find what feels best for both of you. Do you need to lie down, straddle your partner, or even explore using it in the shower? Yes, it's 100% waterproof too!
Step four
Then, starting slow, use the remote control to adjust the sensations, beginning with lower-intensity vibrations and gradually increasing them as desired. The remote control makes it easy to adjust settings without interrupting the moment, which can be super handy when you finally find that sweet spot.
Redefining what sex is for you
Endometriosis doesn't have to mean the end of fulfilling partnered sex or even exploring pleasure alone. Sex is and should be adaptive and unique to the individual and to the relationship. Whether you need a helping hand like Pulse Duo to bring comfort, excitement or new sensations to your body, it's important that you shift from what's expected and focus on cultivating what feels good, safe, and exciting.
Discover the Pulse Duo and explore pleasure without limits because pleasure should always be on your terms.
SHOP THE NEW PULSE DUO HERE