"I am a curious guy, and once I saw anal plugs being used in porn, not knowing if they were painful or pleasurable, I bought a couple to try out. When my wife discovered them, she was surprised that I would want to use something that was not “normal” or healthy for regular intimacy. Now, as she is warming up to a bit more experimentation, her belief is still that butt plugs are used primarily in BDSM and not for “mainstream” lovemaking.
I say they are now mainstream, and she says they are still BDSM. My guy friends say their use is common; my wife’s girlfriends disagree. Could you provide your opinion? I’d like to make it easier for her to feel a little more open to their use."
**Joan answers:**
Yes, butt plugs are mainstream and commonly used because of the pleasure they give. There’s nothing BDSM about them. The anus has a high concentration of erogenous nerve endings, whatever your gender or orientation, whether your sexual tastes run vanilla or kinky. Many people find that butt plugs intensify sexual pleasure. People with prostates find that a curved anal plug that stimulates the prostate is especially arousing.
I couldn’t tell whether you want your wife to be open to using one herself or just accept that you like it. Please don’t pressure her, just let her see how much you enjoy it. Be sure you choose an anal toy with a wide, flared base so your eager sphincter muscles can’t pull it into you, and use plenty of lubricant.
