We love Violet Fenn’s brilliant sex writing, particularly when she’s educating the mainstream via Metro UK about the joys of such niche sexual activities as sounding, electro sex and alien egg-laying dildos. So when she sent us her latest guest review of our ATOM PLUS cock ring, we expected to enjoy it. However, it went so far beyond our expectations we felt we had to share it with all of you.
Cock rings, sex weasels and garlic sauce. A recipe for masturbation…
“And the same to you too.”
“No, cock rings!” A pause. “I’ve sent you some”
These words may strike some sense of excitement in many. The possibility of a naughty gift in the post – designed to provoke pleasure or help embiggen your manhood – encourages certain mental images.
“Oh, great,” was my response. If she detected sarcasm, she didn’t let on.
Is your faithful reviewer really this jaded when it comes to cock rings? Well, no not really, it’s just that at first pass, one cock ring seems much like another. The basic principles are, well, so basic that you struggle to imagine how it might be improved.
Let’s talk about cocks for a moment
You can’t have cock rings without cocks, as my freshly penned old adage goes (Imagine this being said with a broad Yorkshire accent, it adds gravitas)
Your common or garden cock is a fairly smooth affair. Of course, they’re textured, some may verge on gnarly, but they all follow the same basic pattern regardless of size. They work pretty well and sex toy designers know all about cocks. CV’s and job interviews in that industry must be hilarious.
But – and it’s a big but – they design for the masses, without considering the outliers.
I’m an outlier. I have genital piercings, um… maybe quite a few. Aside from the P.A and reverse P.A there is a full scrotal ladder made with bars (such a lovely term, but I can’t think of anything better – ‘bollock fence’?).The ‘ladder’ extends upwards above my cock, but this isn’t called a ladder anymore and just gets labeled ‘pubic’ piercings. Try some private googling.
Suffice to say there is quite a lot of metal work around my cock, that could potentially get in the way of a cock ring, possibly cause harm to wildlife, or incite the interest of airport security. There’s enough going on down below to elicit gasps, occasional looks of admiration and perhaps even shock.
Luckily, my piercings are fully cock ring compatible. Conventional ones fit just fine – in fact the bar/ball ends help lock them securely in place.
So on with the review…
ATOM PLUS combined with genital piercings initially posed a challenge
Hang on… what arrived was not conventional and posed a challenge. The designers definitely didn’t consider it being used by someone who’s gonads more closely resemble a bag of bolts.
Two boxes arrived containing vibrating cock rings. The silver and monochrome packaging was bright and featured a picture of the content, just in case you thought you had picked up a kitchen utensil from Ikea. The contents were basic; instructions(discarded), the obligatory soft conceal-what-i-am storage bag and a USB cable for charging.
The contents weren’t your average cock rings with a tiny vibrator glued on that dangles underneath or sits on top and is designed to somehow create earth shattering orgasms from its precarious position.
The designers at Hot Octopus have used every inch (I know, I know) of their technical design knowledge and their thorough understanding of cocks to produce a wonderful looking and feeling product that really does improve on the standard vibrating cock-ring design we all know and love.
The Atom and the Atom Plus are both fairly large and thick, the Plus model being the larger of the two as it contains two motors – one on top, one below. The smaller Atom performs marvelously, nestling at the base of your cock; however as the Atom Plus was more encompassing, I chose to focus on it.
ATOM PLUS is more of a ‘manhood crown’
The Atom Plus isn’t strictly a cock ring, as it’s designed to envelope the gentleman’s baggage area as well. It’s more of a manhood crown.
As normal I ignored the instructions. Nothing that fits on your cock should ever need instructions (a perfect headstone inscription).
In theory the Plus ring should be as easy to slip on as the smaller Atom, but as I alluded to earlier, I’m not a normal ‘fit’. The ring can be stretched and warmed up which does helps, but ultimately getting the Plus on and into place was an undignified struggle. Lube may have helped, but I suspect this would have escalated things to a comical level akin to attempting to stuff greasy weasels through a keyhole.
Eventually I succeeded in pushing my testes and cock through and the ring settled into place, fitting very comfortably above and around my cock and behind and below my balls (the ladder goes all the way around the back, so this was a closer call than you may have liked to imagine so far – yes, dear reader you signed up for this ride and you’re not allowed off until the end).
The top of the Plus ring is bulbous and houses the controls, a shaped gold panel that allows the Plus ring to be turned on, off and cycled through its five modes. This thing vibrates! It’s powerful! It emanates strong vibrations, above and below.
Testing ATOM PLUS
Now I was testing solo this time. A female partner would also benefit from the strong vibrations the Plus ring generates as it presses into her pubic area, a bonus in addition to all the standard sights and sounds of the normal fucking process.
But even solo, this really works. The vibrations are strong enough that they ripple through your entire cock and balls. It was more than enough to just leave it turned on and sit back and watch my cock twitch and pulse, much like a frog touched by a battery in the classic science experiment (except that my appendage is not green and I’m not aware of any Frenchman ever entertaining the idea of cooking it in garlic sauce, at least to my knowledge).
So, having introduced some normal wanking in to the equation, things really took off.
Wow.
How to say this politely? I’m not sure there is a way. It wasn’t long until I came heavily, the vibrations speeding up the twitching waves of orgasm.
ATOM PLUS review in summary
The upside is the Plus ring really works, really works, far better than expected. This won’t be going to the bottom of the test drawer any time soon, this will be getting some regular extended use.
On the downside, one size does not fit everyone. It has some stretch, but in my case not quite enough. I was turning blue by the end (although it wasn’t entirely unpleasant, which probably says more about me than the Plus ring).
On the tech side, you plug it in and it charges. You don’t need the instructions. It turns on, off and in between makes your bits feel magical. What more do you need to know. Treat yourself.
Find out more about ATOM PLUS here.
Read more great reviews on Violet’s site, Sex Death + Rock N Roll.
