The time is fast approaching: we can hear the jingling of bells, we’ve been slightly confused by the John Lewis advert, and at Hot Octopuss HQ we’re already thinking of fun ideas for blogs that will show you some of the sexy Christmas gift options you can buy for your partner.
Last year we rounded up sexy Christmas gifts for BDSM fans, and this year we have even more exciting (and hopefully helpful!) tips in store. But before we roll those out, we wanted to start with something a little more basic that will help you on your journey to find the perfect sexy Christmas gift.
How to choose a sexy Christmas gift
Buying something sexy for a loved one can be a bit of a gamble. You want to find something they’ll definitely like, and that won’t give them a reason to either feel pressured or disappointed. The last thing you want to hear when they unwrap your special something is: “did you keep the receipt?”
It may be that you and your partner (or partners) are used to giving and exchanging sexy gifts, in which case this guide probably isn’t for you. But we know there are plenty of people out there for whom this year will be their very first time giving sexy gifts, and they’ll be nervous about getting it right. So here are our top tips.
If you don’t know what they want, ditch the idea of a ‘surprise’
Yeah, we know: picking that perfect gift and giving someone a lovely surprise is the ideal scenario. In a dream world you will manage to intuit exactly what they want, and keep it a secret until the perfect moment, when they open their sexy Christmas gift and squeal with delight. Unfortunately, it’s incredibly difficult to realise this dream without taking a few risks.
- What if you choose something that is the wrong size/shape for them?
- What if you choose something that they are actively turned off by?
- What if the very act of giving them something sexy makes them feel pressured to use it, and subsequently turns them off more experimentation?
Don’t panic: these are worst-case scenarios. And there are ways to mitigate them. Firstly, you need to have a conversation. You don’t necessarily need to be direct about it to start with – you can ask your partner how they feel about sex toys in general, and gauge their interest for specific things.
- I’ve been thinking it might be fun to try sex toys together – what do you think?
- I read this article about a cool new sex toy, and it sounded intriguing – is that something you might be into?
If they’re interested, then great! The next step is having a more involved chat – maybe sitting down with them in front of your favourite sex toy website, and browsing through the options. Bookmark the toys they like the look of, and save it for shopping later. If you don’t mind spoiling the surprise, you can ask them:
- If you could have one of these toys, which would you like the most?
Or if you want to maintain an element of surprise on Christmas Day, let them know that you’re shopping for a sexy gift and ask them to give you a list to choose from – a top five favourite sex toys, perhaps. That way you guarantee you’re getting something they want, and you can also keep them guessing about which one they might receive on the day.
There’s an added bonus in shopping for sexy Christmas gifts this way: your lucky gift recipient gets to revel in the anticipation of what they might get, and (hopefully!) look forward to receiving it. The ideal scenario here is that you’ve listened carefully to what they’d like, and given them just enough information to tantalise them with possibilities before they open something they will be genuinely pleased to use
If you know what they like, shop for similar items
If someone’s into butt plugs, and has a collection of a few, then finding another butt plug that will expand their collection might be a really good move. It’s also a fairly safe bet that if they enjoy anal play, they won’t be wildly disappointed or shocked if you get them something along similar lines. Do they have a slightly cheap/dog-eared rabbit vibrator that they really love? Check out sex toy review sites and see if you can buy them a new-fangled upgrade which does the same job, but better. If they’re into penis toys, PULSE might float their boat.
Looking at their current collection (and their wish list!) can also give you helpful information when it comes to things like sizing. If they tend to go for smaller insertable toys, don’t go picking out a giant dildo as a ‘challenge’ – check out the textures, sizes and shapes that they seem to like and find something that’s similar-but-different.
Pick your timing carefully
Few people feel frisky just before having to a giant roast dinner for their extended family. Giving someone a sex toy on Christmas morning might be romantic, but equally it might be a bolt out of the blue. If you mess up your timing then you’ll have immediately attached a sense of dread or stress to this thing that was meant to be cool – oops!
To avoid this, and give that added bonus build-up, why not ask your partner something like this:
- I’ve bought a little extra something just for you that I’d like to give you in private. Let me know when you’re feeling ready for it, and we can unwrap it together?
Golden rule: this sexy Christmas gift is for them, not for you
This is the golden rule of all present-giving, not just for sexy Christmas gifts, but it’s worth remembering that whatever you buy them should be a present for them. Something that they will enjoy. If you have your own fantasies and desires about sex toys, then by all means start dropping hints into conversations before Christmas, or leave a wishlist lying around somewhere they might see it, but when it comes to buying for someone else, don’t use a gift as a means to get them to fulfil your own fantasy: that way lies pressure, stress, and sex that’s not fun for them at all.
By communicating with them and listening to what they really want, you can make sure you get them a sexy Christmas gift they’re really going to enjoy. And by the way, we think some of these rules apply well to gift-giving generally: listening to what people want is the only way to buy them gifts they’ll love.
